mess with her and I'll fuck you up
by queen caffeine
Summary: Catcalls usually don't concern Brick, especially when the girl receiving said catcalls will most likely knock the teeth out of the ones doing it. However, when the girl being catcalled is known for her sweet and caring personality, Brick figures he needs to step in. –brick/bubbles friendship


**disclaimer: nOPE.  
notes: i wrote this in like an hour. also, the song doesn't really match up but it was on repeat while i was writing, so. yeah.  
notes2: *takes out megaphone* THIS IS NOT A MIXED PAIRING ONESHOT.  
notes3: also the words below AREN'T lyrics from the song, i just made them up. *thumbs up*  
playlist: 'Face Down' by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**

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 _You think messing with her is okay?_

 _I don't think you understand how badly you just fucked up._

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x

Fucking Butch.

Fucking Butch and his fucking football practice.

Fucking Boomer and his damn _hockey practice_ and making him have to pick Butch up since the fucker's motorcycle is in the garage.

"Damn brothers aren't good for _shit,_ " the angry redheaded Jojo brother mutters as he – for lack of a better term – _sulks_ in his car. "Seriously, all I want is _one goddamn afternoon_ to myself. _One._ But no, I'm stuck waiting for Thing One after his fucking _football practice._ Next time I'll make the asshole fucking _walk_ home, dammit."

He scowls at his steering wheel and taps his fingers against his thigh as he waits.

 _How fucking long is his damn practice?_

A glance at his clock reads _5:23 PM._

The minutes pass agonizingly slow, and each one makes Brick even more impatient. But he reigns in his temper (somewhat) and sentences himself to wait, simmering in silence.

When the numbers finally read _5:30 PM_ , he yanks his car keys out of the ignition and pops open the driver's side door, climbing out and slamming it shut behind him. He stalks across the parking lot – the _empty_ parking lot, mind you – towards the back of the school, where the football field is.

The gate's unlocked so Brick opens it easily and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he makes his way towards the bleachers.

Blood red eyes take in his surroundings. The football coach and the manager are conversing near the scoreboard table, looking over a clipboard. Around five or six football players are loitering on one section of the bleachers, talking and laughing loudly. The rest of the team, including his shithead of a brother, is nowhere to be found.

 _Locker rooms, probably,_ Brick thinks.

"Okay, bye girls! See you tomorrow!" A cheerful voice breaks into his thoughts, and he looks to his right to see the one and only Bubbles Utonium waving to a small group of girls dressed in identical cheerleading outfits. The girls call out goodbyes and flounce towards the exit, leaving only Bubbles. The blonde picks up her pompoms and begins running through another routine.

Brick turns his attention away from her and climbs onto the bleachers halfway between the group of football players and Bubbles. He resigns himself to sitting and waiting for Butch.

After a minute his thoughts drift, going over his AP Literature paper due tomorrow and making a list of the homework he never finished in study hall. His gaze is contemplative as he stares off into space, only vaguely registering what's going on around him.

x

"Whoo, nice legs!"

"Hey, wanna come over and show me a couple of moves?"

"How about you throw down those pompoms and come hang out with us, princess?"

Brick isn't really paying attention, so the first couple of catcalls go ignored. However, once they start to pick up in volume and crudeness, his patience starts to thin.

He shuts his eyes and rubs his temples in exasperation.

 _Can these damn football jocks get any more obnoxious? Where the hell is their coach?_

"Yo Bubbles, come on over here and give us a private show, eh?"

At this, his eyes snap open.

The football assholes are jeering and catcalling _Bubbles._

x

Brick Jojo tolerates Bubbles Utonium.

Key word: _tolerates._

She's dating his youngest brother and she's a genuinely nice person, however she's just…too _sweet._ If he's around her long enough his teeth begin to ache, almost as if she's giving him cavities.

So yeah, he tolerates her. Just like he tolerates her other two sisters.

Another factor being that both of their fathers work at the same science institution, the six have been around each other since they were kids. He doesn't talk to her much, but she's a good person. Boomer's head-over-heels for her anyway, it's not like he can tell her to fuck off (he doesn't feel the need to 70% of the time).

 _However,_ because he knows Bubbles and her too-sweet personality, he also knows that she won't do anything about the catcalls. If it was one of her sisters, it'd be a different story. But it's not; it's Bubbles, and Bubbles is too nice to tell them to stop.

Brick, on the other hand, isn't nice.

Stoically, he stands from his seat and descends the bleachers, walking over to stand by Bubbles. She blinks at him, freezing in her routine.

He nods at her and sits down, forearms resting on his knees. The football players stop their heckling for a minute before starting up again.

Bubbles ignores them, sends Brick a hesitant but pearly-white smile, and continues on with her cheer.

"Baby, come on over here and show me some _school spirit_!"

"Your top looks a bit tight – want me to help you take it off?"

"Ha, that's not the only thing that's tight!"

" _Shut the hell up_ ," Brick snarls, glaring at them from his seat. Bubbles stumbles in her routine, looking back on the redhead with shock on her face.

The jocks gape at him for a few seconds before actually standing up and coming over.

Brick doesn't move.

"What'd you just say?" One of the guys says.

Brick raises an eyebrow testily. "What, are you deaf as well as fucking stupid? I _said,_ shut the hell up."

The footballers stiffen. Number 25 steps forward.

"Who the hell are you, telling us what to do?" He spits.

"Who the hell are you, messing with her?" Brick fires back, jerking his thumb in Bubbles' direction. Their focus shifts to her and she brings her pompoms in front of her to cover her skirt.

"She's one of the hottest chicks in school," number 49 chortles.

"Yeah, and she's putting on a show for us." Number 17 blatantly runs his eyes up and down her body, and Bubbles swallows thickly.

In the blink of eye Brick is out of his seat and standing in front of Bubbles, a fearsome scowl on his face and eyes blazing. Bubbles yelps in shock but remains behind him.

"You better damn well leave her _alone_ ," Brick warns.

"Man, it's bad enough you and your brothers are hanging around her and her sisters all the time!" Number 55 crosses his arms over his barrel-like chest. "Let the rest of us have our fun!"

Brick freezes and his eyes go wide for a second. Then, they narrow into slits and his fists clench. His eyebrow twitches.

" _What the fuck did you just say_?"

As a testament to their dangerously low IQ's, they all start to agree with Number 55.

"Yeah, the Utonium chicks are the hottest girls in school!"

"Everyone knows they're prime real estate!"

"Dude, just back off!"

"Yeah, let little blondie come on over here and hang with the big boys. We'll have some _real_ fu –"

He doesn't get to finish because suddenly Brick's fist slams into his nose.

x

"What the _hell,_ man?!" Number 28 howls as he falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes, hands over his gushing nose.

"Don't _ever_ fucking talk about Bubbles Utonium like that again."

The football players don't heed his warning and rush at him, all four at the same time. Bubbles cries out as Brick dodges a punch and throws Number 55 over his shoulder, knocking the wind out of him. Number 49 goes down with a punch that's sure to leave a black eye, and number 17 gets a kick to the gut and an elbow to the throat.

Number 25 throws a punch but over-swings, Brick sliding under his arm to avoid the hit. To make up for his lost balance, number 25 tries to grab Bubbles to steady himself.

She screams and shoves her pompoms in his face, jerking away. Brick grits his teeth and snatches the player's arm, pulling it behind his back in an awkward position.

"Didn't I just say to leave her _the fuck alone_?" Brick growls in his ear, pulling harder on his arm.

"Alright, alright, you've made your point!" Number 25 gasps. Brick grabs his hair and cranks his head back painfully.

"Have I?" He asks. Tears are gathering in the player's eyes and his free arm pinwheels helplessly.

"Yes!" His voice cracks pitifully. "Yes, okay, we won't bother her again! Shit, man, ease up already!"

Brick puts a little more pressure on the immobile arm, almost to the point of breaking it. The player squeals like a pig, begging for mercy.

Brick finally releases him, forcing the player to fall to the ground with his other teammates. The five football players all lay on the grass, moaning and groaning in pain.

Brick sneers down at them. "Just in case you douchebags didn't get the message: mess with Bubbles Utonium and I will fucking _crack your goddamn skulls open_."

They all squeak out affirmatives and Brick turns away, rolling his shoulders. He looks at his brother's girlfriend, who's pompom-less and a little pale.

"You alright?" He asks gruffly.

Bubbles nods. "Y-yeah, I'm okay," she pauses. "Thank you, for that. You didn't have to do that."

"'S nothing," he shrugs a shoulder, tone indifferent. "Do those guys always bother you?"

"Mostly when I'm in my cheer uniform," she replies. "Boomer and I haven't really gone official yet, so I think they think I'm still single." She shudders and wrinkles her nose. "As if I'd date any of them."

Brick resists the urge to smile. "Yeah, well, they won't bother you anymore. If they do…let me know. I'll take care of it."

She blinks at him, surprised again. "Really? Wow, thanks!" Another blinding smile.

Brick's face remains expressionless, but Bubbles can swear she sees the barest hint of a smile.

"Don't mention it."

x

"Hey bro, what's – wait, what the hell happened here?"

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 **idk man i just...really wanted to write brick beating the shit out of dumbass football players bc they messed with bubbles.**

 **i figure, all six of them are dating so...they're all friends with each other, but i headcanon that butch and blossom are buddies, buttercup sometimes drags boomer into pranks (mostly on butch lmao), and brick looks out for bubbles (LIKE IN THIS ONESHOT)**

 **ah im just a sucker for these teenagers i love them so much omfg**

 **also i feel like this kinda sucks? idk i did this really fast and it's a different pair of ppg/rrb than usual soooo...idk. tell me what you guys think! (also maybe give me oneshot ideas? i can't guarantee anything but if i like something i might write something for it!)**

 **AND FIRST ONESHOT WRITTEN UNDER MY NEW USERNAME HELL YEAH**

 **peace out girl scouts,**

 **queen caffeine**


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